Thursday, January 6, 2011

No Guarantees

( Mae and I with our application)
One year and 6 days ago we applied to America World Adoption Agency to be part of the Ethiopia adoption program. Time has gone slowly, but also flown by. I can't believe it has been a year since we applied. We are holding steady at number 13 on the 'unofficial' list. We have moved up and down a little...but 13 still owns us! We are anxious to meet our little guy, but have really been ok with the wait. I think it makes it easier for me to wait because I know that as soon as we have that referral, we will be connected to our baby. We know and recognize that it will be hard after we see his face and learn about him, to wait for our first meeting...and even harder to wait to bring him home. Right now, this wait is far less emotional than our future waits...makes perfect sense right? Well it does in my brain. God is preparing our hearts for sure! I have come to realize that I don't think anything can really prepare you for the emotional ups and downs you go through when adopting. It can be compared to pregnancy...but still has it's differences, obviously:)

We are so thankful to be on this journey...and journey that for a planner (me) is definitely very difficult. There is nothing 'FOR SURE' about adoption. I had someone say to me the other day, there are 'No Guarantees with adoption' and that is for certain! We are not guaranteed he will be healthy, we are not guaranteed it will be a smooth transition for him OR us, and we KNOW that this journey is not guaranteed to be easy...thinking and hearing these things is hard and can create doubt. However, what I later thought about that comment was, yes, there is one guarantee. God is with us and a part of every step we take towards our son. He has matched us perfectly. So that is a guarantee I hold on to, even if I do waver at times. Being the planner, woman, human I am. Also if we wanted guarantees, this would not be the journey for us. As a GREAT family friend and mentor has reminded Tom and I so many times "If you want to walk on water, you have to get out of the boat!"

I am hoping my next post will share a number a little lower than 13. No guarantees it will though:)